Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
