Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
