let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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