Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
