I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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