im drinking this country out of the recession.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
