So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
