Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I had to cum in my sink.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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