Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize