I just threw up on my dentist
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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