white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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