oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
