I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
