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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Alive.
So much puke
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
