I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
