So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How does one acquire holy water?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He shit in the fireplace
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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