And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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