After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
