i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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