I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
