Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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