I CAN MOONWALK!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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