Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
