I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
