At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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