It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
