Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
