so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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