I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
