But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
