my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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