I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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