it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
