A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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