is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
