I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
