I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
