it's great music for shaving your balls
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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