I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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