you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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