Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
