When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
