SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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