This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Bring me that man meat
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
