yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
