I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize