ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
