Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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