I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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