I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
