I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
