Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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