I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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