A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
