he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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