OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize