the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
