so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He shit in the fireplace
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
