tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
