If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize