So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
