I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize