We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
