It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Im part way to drunk.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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